As in most households, a division of labour exists regarding chores; cleaning and vacuuming of the floors falls to me. Borrowing from Winston Churchill, “Give me the tools and I will do the job.” When I needed more floor cleaner to do the kitchen floor, my wife returned from the supermarket with a bottle of “Professional Floor Cleaner.”
At first, I was unsure whether I was allowed to use it or even if I wanted to use it. My floor-cleaning status is strictly amateur. Did I want to be associated with professional floor cleaners? Has one ever become the President of the United States or taken high political office.
Studying the label, I saw that it said, “Designed by professionals now serving the home.” Did that mean they were no longer engaged in the professional floor-cleaning business?
“‘Ere ‘Arry, forget this floor-cleaning lark, why don’t we design a floor cleaner?”
“Great idea, Reg. Give us a pen and I’ll jot it down on the back of me fag packet.”
I had always thought design implied shape or form. A car is designed, a building is designed but a floor cleaner?
“Let’s make it a liquid ‘Arry.”
“Brilliant, Reg and then we would call it a professional floor cleaner.”
Advertising people seem to like the word “professional.” In the United States, hospitals are advertised as offering professional care. Does that mean that some hospitals only offer amateur care?
“St. Sidney’s Medical Center offers comprehensive amateur care. All our staff members are amateurs, which means you, the patient, can have the treatment you need at a fraction of the cost charged by professional hospitals. St. Sidney’s Medical Center can offer triple bypass surgery for just $37.”
Anyone performing a job for which they have been trained and for which they receive pay is, by definition, a professional. The distinction between amateur and profession only comes to play in sport and the arts. Anywhere else, the distinction is redundant, unless you happen to work in advertising where people appear to be professional by name and amateur by nature.
3 Comments
June 19, 2008 at 9:15 am
Apparently according to Larry Kellner the Chairman and CEO of Continental Airlines, Continental’s workers are the “most professional” in the business. Mmm maybe I should worry. How anyone arrives at an objective conclusion like that is hard enough to grasp, even indeed if the entire concept is utter nonsense.
June 19, 2008 at 6:13 pm
An excellent start, Calvin. An article that includes Winston Churchill, ‘Arry, Reg, and amateur surgeons all because you now have to clean the floor has to be a first. I look forward to more of your inane ramblings in the future.
M.
April 24, 2009 at 7:26 am
I can tell that this is not the first time at all that you mention the topic. Why have you decided to touch it again?