By Calvin Palmer
The mayor of a town in northwest England has been arrested after a number of women reported that underwear was disappearing from their bedrooms.

Ian Stafford. Picture courtesy of The Blackpool Gazette
Ian Stafford, 58, the Mayor of Preesall, near Fleetwood, Lancashire, was arrested on suspicion of burglary in June, following a series of instances where women’s underwear went missing.
One woman became so concerned she installed a hidden camera in her bedroom, which recorded a semi-naked man rifling through her drawers and putting on her underwear before performing a sex act.
Investigations later revealed a collection of panties, allegedly matching those reported stolen, at the home of the mayor.
He was formally charged yesterday and given police bail, a Lancashire Police spokesman said.
The handyman and gardener has resigned his position as mayor.
Stafford will appear at Fleetwood Magistrates’ Court on September 14.
Stafford’s photograph shows an uncanny resemblance to the character of Cosmo Smallpiece, created by comedian Les Dawson. Stafford’s alleged actions are similarly in keeping with Cosmo. Once again life imitates art.
[Based on reports by The Daily Telegraph and The Blackpool Gazette.]
You can’t make this stuff up can you?! Real life is often more entertaining and bizarre than fiction. “Knickers, knackers, knockers!” as Cosmo would have said…
Zelda will appear momentarily and call shrilly for a caning of Mayor Stafford.
He looks the part, too. Oh dear…I can’t stop chuckling. Hahahahahahaha.
M.