Jaguars emerge as Jacksonville Pussies

By Calvin Palmer

In a rare moment in NFL history, the Jacksonville Jaguars became the first team to change its name during the half-time interval at Seattle.

Trailing 20-0 after one of the most inept first-half displays ever witnessed in the NFL, Jacksonville emerged for the second half bearing the name Jacksonville Pussies.

If the cap fits, wear it. And that cap certainly fits Rashean Mathis. Is there any other player on a NFL roster who tackles like a girl? He seems to think a gentle tap on the back of an opposing player with the palms of his hands will stop them in their tracks. Wrong!

What this big girl’s blouse is doing playing pro football escapes me.  I would be reluctant to have him serving on a stadium hot dog concession stand. I doubt he would have the strength to split open a bun.

Quite what Jack Del Rio will say at half-time is anyone’s guess but he did not seem particularly concerned as he left the field.

It would now appear Jacksonville sports two jokes – The Florida Times-Union newspaper and now its football team.

Having suffered further humiliation is the second half, it would be appropriate if every player of the Jacksonville Pussies who took the field at Seattle donated their weekly wage to a charity of their choice. They certainly did not earn this money this afternoon.

Inquiries about the kick-off time of next week’s game against the St Louis Rams are likely to be met with, “What time can you get here?”

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3 responses to “Jaguars emerge as Jacksonville Pussies

  1. Glen P

    41 – 0: I guess “pussies” sums ’em up pretty well. After last week’s drubbing by Denver I had about given up on the Dallas Cowboys. (Here in NY, the Giants fans call the Dallas QB, “Tony Homo.”) So, I was looking for another team to support. I just crossed Jax off my list too. What to do? What to do?

    • calvininjax

      The Romo boy done good today* by all accounts.

      *That’s football manager (coach) speak in England.

      Just like I am stuck with Stoke City, you are stuck with the Cowboys — till death do us part.

  2. AndyP

    I thought Stoke City were my only hopeless cause, but it seems I can add the Jaguars / Pussies to that list. Yesterday’s result was probably my fault – I jinxed them by watching them (until halftime). They always lose when I watch, and do much better when I don’t bother. Serves me right, I was avoiding swotting up for an interview, I should have stuck to that.

    It is a crazy world when pro footballers here and their counterparts in the English Premier League earn huge fortunes for potentially appalling performances, and vital roles like nursing, fire-fighting, and teachers are paid poorly. I’d send the Jaguars out for a long jog in the neighborhoods and see what response they get from their paying supporters. To paraphrase my usual post-match comment at the Britannia Stadium… Bloody rubbish Jags! Del Rio Out!

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