Gol TV idiot ruins Real Madrid clash with Barcelona in Supercopa

By Calvin Palmer

A thrilling and pulsating game between Real Madrid and Barcelona in the first leg of Supercopa 2011 this afternoon finished 2-2 despite Real Madrid’s home advantage and domination.

I had hoped the match was going to be covered by the Latino TV channel, Univision, which provided me with my coverage of the Copa América last month. I was rather looking forward to the ebullient commentary in Spanish by Fernando Fiore.

Alas Univision was screening one of the many Mexican soap operas it airs on regular basis.

My next port of call for coverage of the game was Gol TV, the only American network channel dedicated solely to football, although the Americans would say soccer.

The commentary was in English, so you would think that would be preferable to a Spanish commentary. Don’t you believe it.

My enjoyment of this enounter between the two giants of Spanish football was completely ruined by a co-commentator with a Geordie accent and a severe case of verbal diarrohea, diarrhea for Americans.

He was referred to as Ray by his American colleague and at half-time I was determined to find out who this idiot Ray was.

Google and wikipedia quickly came up with the answer – Ray Hudson.

Now, I have followed English football for 50 years and the only player of note during that time with the name Hudson was Alan Hudson of Chelsea, Stoke, Arsenal and England.

Ray Hudson, it turns out, was a footballing non-entity. He played 40 games for Newcastle United during a period of four years with the club. He left at the age of 22, not for an English side in one of the lower leagues but Fort Lauderdale Strikers. I think that says it all with respect to how good Ray was a player — simply not good enough to make the grade.

Ray eventually went on to further his “football experience” by managing Miami Fusion and DC United in the MLS, hardly the upper echelons of world football.

Ray Hudson in pure football terms was what we English would term a tosser. And he seems keen to retain this label in his career as a soccer commentator.

How he can claim to be an authority on European football and the likes of Real Madrid and Barcelona beggars belief. His contribution to the commentary is filled with every cliché and hackneyed phrase that has ever graced the world of football commentating. He simply spouts forth meaningless drivel littered with a plethora of inappropriate adjectives and adverbs to describe what the viewer has already seen with his or her own eyes. He contributes absolutely nothing in the way of explanation or analysis.

Listening to his commentary, delivered in a grating accent that screams into the microphone, one may be forgiven for thinking that Ray has imbibed six or seven bottles of Newcastle Brown before going on air.

He is like something out of a Viz comic, a drunken fan called in to commentate on a football match, without the expletives a drunk would use. With his limited vocabulary and limited grasp of the English language, he is clearly out of his depth.

What for instance are “knifing balls”? What is “unimaginable brilliance”?

Throughout his commentary he used the term “magisterial” when he obviously meant to say “majestic”.

Statements were punctuated with “of course”, as if to make out that he is a leading authority on world football.

Every player was a “genius”.

One move by Real Madrid was said to be “executed with extreme prejudice”. What is that supposed to mean? Absolutely nothing! It is meaningless; something a drunk may well utter.

He referred to Cristiano Ronaldo at one point as a “Portuguese peach”.

Barcelona’s Pedro was described as possessing “vibrant, electrical skill”. Did Pedro train and qualify as an electrician before taking up the beautiful game?

He described Real Madrid’s Özil as “the best thing on two legs since Sophia Loren”. I don’t know who is the more insulted by that remark –  Özil or Sophia Loren.

Ray was obviously never taught to engage brain before opening mouth and the world suffers for it.

Ray’s job with Gol TV just goes to show how people with limited ability, a loud mouth and as much front as Blackpool promenade can get on in America.

Make no mistake, Ray Hudson would not be allowed within 100 miles of a microphone in his native Britain. Just as he proved not to be good enough as a footballer in the English leagues, he is similarly lacking in the necessary knowledge, experience and erudition to ever gain access to British broadcasting.

But Ray is broadcasting to the American market and what most Americans know about football can be written on the back of a cigarette packet, hence his ability to hold down the job at Gol TV. He is far too dumb to realizes people are laughing at him rather than with him, although he is laughing all the way to the bank. I wonder how much he gets paid to serve up his dross.

To paraphrase William Shakespeare, Ray’s commentary is a tale told by an idiot full of sound and fury signifying nothing.

The second leg of Supercopa 2011 airs on Gol TV on Wednesday. I think I will watch the game with the volume turned off rather than have my enjoyment of a footballing extravaganza ruined for a second time by a verbose, semantically-challenged and know-nothing Geordie.

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127 Comments

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127 responses to “Gol TV idiot ruins Real Madrid clash with Barcelona in Supercopa

  1. 226132

    ray hudson is great & so many people like him

    u r stupid

  2. Jack

    This blog site has become my ‘job.’

    This tells everything. Nowadays people get paid for bashing others. And you think you are the genius one?

    I could read that academic nonsense of yours but I still love Ray. For me, he is the best. I would get bored with “WANNA BE ANALYZING GENIUS” commentators because, in fact, they are not so genius eventually. Blogs and discussion forums are for the intelligent conversations.

    • calvininjax

      I wonder how much you get paid for spamming a porn site, Jack?

      Glad to know that you are in love with Ray. Is Ray aware of it? 😉

    • Prashanth

      LOL he has ruined La Liga for me… first thing u need to commentate is a good voice… or if ur gonna yell… yell like peter drury! yell awesome and sensible things! “Benzema, sliding down smoothly like toilet paper” does not count as commentary!!

  3. OS.

    Why aye man! Bomber Busbridge would have put him right, and Oz Osbourne would have sorted him big style. God knows what Jug Ears and Hanson would have made of Ray on MOTD. 😉

    >Blogs and discussion forums are for the intelligent conversations.

    Obviously, ‘Jack’ has never visited my blog. 😈

    M.

    • calvininjax

      It was unbelievably bad as my piece suggests, OS.

      I will be watching the second leg of the match on the computer. ESPN3.com are covering the game. I will gladly sacrifice the larger screen of the TV so as not hear this clown again.

  4. irritated american

    I am so annoyed watching the second leg of Barca / Madrid and glad I found your blog. However, I am AMERICAN and know something about soccer (I’m not an expat either). I actually know a LOT of Americans that don’t enjoy this guy’s commentary and feel offended that they would let him commentate. I think Gol t.v. must not pay very well because otherwise they would have a semi-competent announcer and better picture quality.

    Oh and by the way, you forgot to mention Hudson’s comment about Casillas’ “bread basket” in the first leg – ha ha.

    I’ve already written to Gol TV and ESPN about their incompetent announcers! Thank you for writing about this!!!! I am going to watch on ESPN 3 now, too.

    If Alan Hansen had to listen to this, he’d go seriously insane.

    • calvininjax

      I thought I was a lone voice in the wilderness, lamenting that my English sensibilities were being trampled on by Ray Hudson’s crassness and abysmal command of the English language.

      I am glad to find other people appalled by this idiot — there really is no better word to describe Hudson.

      Yes, I did hear the “bread basket” comment. It made me wince, just like Tommy Smyth’s “onion bag” in World Cup commentaries in the past.

      I did not understand a word of the commentary on ESPN3.com today but it was infinitely better than Hudson’s drivel.

      • Gooner11

        I too found this blog after watching the game today, I searched the internet to find out who this clown is. The game was one of the best I’ve seen in a while but at times I wanted to turn it off because Hudson totally ruins the whole thing – I even switched the commentary to Spanish for a while and I don’t understand Spanish!

        While watching, it reminded me of SkySports’ fan zone, where they had a random fan of each team commentating together as an alternative. I think that lasted all of 1 season, because, although funny for 5 minutes it was unbearable for any longer – just like Ray Hudson.

        I can safely say you have hit the nail on the head with everything you have said on this blog, and if anyone is being entertained by Ray Hudson they’re probably not too bothered about whats actually happening on the pitch anyway!! Like ‘Jack’ said they’d prob get bored with someone, with a football knowledge actually analysing what is going on!!

        Worst comment of today’s 2nd leg: “There’s pressure and some players wear pressure like a necklace made of sledgehammers!!!”

        It makes no sense whatsoever, he was was talking about Fabregas’ debut introduction and his few very forgettable touches.

        GOOD WORK CALVIN.

      • calvininjax

        Is this a first, an Arsenal fan and Stoke City fan in full agreement? 🙂

        Thank you for your appreciative comments.

        I think you are right, if anyone finds Hudson the remotest bit entertaining they understand little of the beautiful game.

      • jason

        Yawn! Is sounds like you two would be more comfortable watching Spanish matches in the dark by candle light so Hudson`s commentary does not get in the way of your delicate sensibilities. His superlatives are great, whereas your conservative ways make me nauseous. News flash! Not every commentator needs to a stellar, professional career to back up his knowledge of the game. Two quick examples (one American and one European: Chris Berman (possible the greatest American football announcer of our generation) and Martin Tyler (voted FA commentator of the decade).
        Not being a professional player and your inability to laugh at Hudson´s Shakespearean use of the English language, are your two main arguments. Both of which, I might add, are not “magisterial”, but just plain moronic.
        Have fun with ESPN 3…sucker

      • calvininjax

        Chris Bermann and Martin Tyler are both great professional commentators and miles away from Hudson whose only claim to professionalism is that he gets paid for his inane verbosity.

        Hudson’s comments are like “a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing”.

        Hope you get the literary reference.

  5. edlamb

    Hudson was referring to the Barcelona team as the best things on two legs since Sophia Loren.

  6. Meg

    How joyless and pedantic you are. Oh, and I wouldn’t be too proud about the application of one of the most quoted lines from MacBeth.
    Hudson’s allusions to Shakespeare, to mythology, to contemporary literature display an erudition to which you would do well to aspire. For this viewer (albeit a brainless American), Hudson makes football a tremendously entertaining experience. I’m sorry that you lack the ability to appreciate him.

    • calvininjax

      I am sorry that you regard Ray Hudson as erudite. I found nothing erudite in the drivel he spouted during the commentary on Sunday evening. There were absolutely no allusions to Shakespeare, mythology or contemporary literature throughout his commentary.

      Perhaps British standards are higher than American ones when it comes to football commentaries. You did say you were a brainless American. 😉

      I am not proud about the Shakespeare quote, I just thought it apposite. It is a quote that has stuck with me since I first read it at the age of 15. And believe me that was a long long time ago.

      I do appreciate people with talent and artistry. I do not suffer fools gladly and Hudson is a fool. His commentaries and the manner in which he delivers them prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt.

    • Daftburger

      “executed with extreme prejudice”

      Actually that’s a paraphrase of a line from ‘Apocalypse Now!’ which is, of course, based on Joseph Conrads ‘Heart of Darkness’. So you could say some reference to contemporary art forms! What does erudition mean? 😀

    • Prashanth

      i like spanish commentary… GOOOOOOOOOAAAAALLL! marca whoever… that is joy for me… “Benzema, sliding down smoothly like toilet paper down a roll” is just a weird fetish!

  7. Carlos

    Haha, excellent read.
    I live in Australia and felt compelled to google “GOLTV + Geordie” after finding the clip on footyroom.com – This Ray guy is soooooo bad, ruins the clip altogether.

  8. VonnegutLives

    Have you no sense of humor? The veritable flood of nonsense adjectives kept me in stitches. You silly Brits must have lost your sense of humor after we beat you in the group stage. Go have your tea and learn to laugh. So it goes.

    • calvininjax

      Football is a serious business for we British. Would you accept that kind of nonsense from an NFL commentator?

      Funny, I can’t seem to recall the USA beating England in the group stage of the 2010 World Cup. The match ended 1-1.

      Your version is more in keeping with someone who supports the tea party. 😉

      • VonnegutLives

        Well played, I misspoke. I was referring to our topping of the group. Also, the most famous of all NFL commentators, John Madden, is exponentially worse of a commentator than this bozo. At least this guy was funny in his ridiculous misunderstanding of the English language. Madden was just ignorant and pedantic. God help this country if the Tea Party ever gets any real control. If so, I’ll come to the pub and watch some real football with you.

      • calvininjax

        I rather liked John Madden.

        I think you would be hard pressed to find a pub showing football matches in Jacksonville, a sports bar perhaps.

  9. jobo3

    I’m hispanic and I can’t stand the spanish commentators. I used to fall asleep watching games in english (so boring)…that is until I found goltv. Ray actually makes the games more enjoyable. So what if he didn’t make it as a futbol player? Big deal. Fernando Fiore didn’t even play the sport.

  10. Daftburger

    Play nicely with the locals Calvin! 😀

  11. This was an interesting and entertaining read. I am a longtime football fan and do understand ‘the beautiful game’ but Ray Hudson’s commentary does not tarnish my viewing experience. Yes he’s silly and his comments are hammy but we do have the option to use the Mute button.

    I use the Mute button when watching any FC Barcelona games on ESPN because their commentators continuously mix-up Eric Abidal and Seydou Keita. At least Ray knows who’s who.

    • calvininjax

      Thank you for your comment, Marsha.

      I see from your blog that you come from, or live in, Trinidad & Tobago. That must mean you are big fan of Stoke City striker Kenwyne Jones.

      I am afraid I could not watch a football game with the mute button activated. I like to hear the noise of the crowd and feel the atmosphere it generates. So instead I would prefer a commentary in Spanish to the inane mutterings of Hudson.

      • Hi Calvin, I agree with you. The atmosphere of a football game is wonderful and it’s wrong to mute the sound. However, there are low levels where you can still hear the songs but not understand the doltish commentators. Just for ESPN mind you, Fox Soccer Channel’s commetators are quite good.

        The Spanish language commentators are great fun. I enjoyed the Copa America on Univision this summer and introduced it to my teenaged nephew. Now no matter who’s playing or where, everybody breaks out, “Goooooooooooooooooooool!”

        I’m proud of the homegrown Trinidad players but I would not be a Stoke City fan just because of Kenwyne Jones. I prefer not to support a side because of a single player. Players move around and it’s wrong to drop a club like a hot potato because a single player was transferred out.

      • calvininjax

        Hi Marsha,

        Nice to hear from you again. I too watched the Copa America on Univision and enjoyed the Spanish commentary although I don’t speak a word of Spanish. In a lot of ways football is a universal language.

        I have been supporting Stoke City for 50 years. I was born and grew up in Stoke and from the bottom of my street I could see the old football ground — the Victoria Ground. In 1997 the club moved to a new stadium, the Britannia, and the old stadium was torn down. I guess Stoke City is in my blood. Someone once said supporting a football club is like marriage, except there can be no divorce. It really is until death do us part. 🙂

        Kenwyne has been quite an asset for Stoke since he joined the club and has scored some vital goals. It is nice to know that you are aware of Stoke City. On September 24, Stoke City v Manchester United is on Fox Soccer Channel so we will both get to see Kenwyne in action.

    • Prashanth

      uhm knowing whos who isnt good enough… even i know whos who… should i commentate? no! the guy kills English! he slaughters the game! and my ears!! listen to Peter Drury’s yelling… that is enthusiasm expressed properly… this is just something that cannot be described with decent words and certainly not competant commentary

  12. Valdovinos

    I understand the guy is annoying but don’t rag on the U.S. Your amazing England tied the US. England is all hype. Build your players up to appear better then they really are. Maybe you can teach your gk’s a thing or two about goalkeeping seeing as you know everything in football…

  13. Chris

    This guy makes me laugh! I watch Barca games on Gol TV, he’s obviously in love with Messi. LOL when he called Lionel “beyond genius”! Haha. WTF is that? And he recently said that on Camp Nou there should be oxygen masks provided every time Barca is attacking, because people are out of breath when they see Barca attacking! Clearly extravagant and colorful comments, but that makes the game funnier to watch. Take it easier Calvin!

  14. Andrew Mcdonnel

    All you Americans. I’m writing this from Newcastle UK and listening to Ray Hudson on the web and can confirm he is the biggest tosser on the commentary circuit.

    Normally one has a commentator relaying the scene as it it unravels and then occasionally you’ll get input from the “Expert Analyst”. Clearly Ray Hudson doesnt believe in that formula as he continually spews forth on the game wiithout any regard to his fellow commentator or “political” sensibilities.

    I’m watching El Classico (December 10th 2011) and I’ve actually heard the man say “like Mussolini from the balcony” when commenting on a Real Madrid player claiming innocence on a foul ??????????

    What is that all about ? If he’s a supposed unbiased commentator then surely all references to Musssolini should be completely banned from the lexicon?

    This man should be sacked in the morning if not immediately. Wake up Fox soccer you aren’t exempt from legal prosecution just because you employ a halfwit !

    • calvininjax

      Thank you for endorsing my view, Andrew. It looks like it takes a Brit to see Hudson for what he is.

      • Andrew Mcdonnel

        “I’m watching El Classico (December 10th 2011) and I’ve actually heard the man say “like Mussolini from the balcony” when commenting on a Real Madrid player claiming innocence on a foul ??????????”

        Let those who are unaware of the history between Real and Barca read the following. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Cl%C3%A1sico

        If Hudson had any sense whatsoever he’d have avoided all reference to right wing fascist dictatorships but then again most normal commentators wouldnt have brought up the subject at all !

  15. Another game ruined by Hudson’s inane perspectives. Letting a guy like this loose on a “Clasico” defies belief. Offers nothing in terms of tactical appreciation of the game and appears to have a love in with certain players.

  16. Charles

    I called GolTV to complain about this guy, because he really takes away from my enjoyment of the game. Every single El Classico, and I’ve just about had enough! He adds no real value to the broadcast, talks gibberish… he seems to be one of those that loves the sound of his own voice. Absolutely horrible.

    So people, please lets call in and make our concerns be heard. Please people! I cant take it anymore! Its a saving grace that I only watch GolTV for El Classico, otherwise its EPL for me

  17. Paul

    I think Hudson is a bit biased towards Messi and his club, but he does not make the matches unbearable to me. I keep having funny images in my head about the camera switching to the commentator box and seeing Hudson with a t-shirt with a large picture of Messi on it.

  18. Sara

    Agreed. Is there a petition I can sign? We need a decent “personality” for these games. I think I heard “playing poker with a witch” the other day. Utterly baffling.

  19. rafael

    I googled the guy today cos i have had enough . I just want to find him and break his nose…maybe GOLTV could finally put him on modified….Im a real madrid fan and this GUY is my greatest Nightmare since I moved to North america from Europe…Now I dread every match day just cause the guy is so annoying and .>>>>Damn… I just rest my case..the way he scream i bet he shits himself sometime..hopefully he`s gonna pass out someday while scream and they can give his job to someone else….and yes Commentator are suppose to be neutral on live TV…this guy is always kissing Barcelona`s ass

    • calvininjax

      I think there is probably a long line of people who would like to “twat”* Hudson.

      *An expression from North Staffordshire and the land of Stoke City FC. It is not a pleasant experience for the recipient.

  20. Having just listened to the commentator on the Man U v Ajax I said to my wife virtually word for word after 10 minutes what Calvin Palmer has written Could nor agree more. Absolute rubbish and totally boring with it. Can’t see him guesting on British TV

  21. chris

    take the stick out of your ass and give credit where credit is due. thats why he’s on golTV and you’ve gotten as far as your blog will take you. he played professional football, can you say you did the same? he brings a breath of fresh air with his pure love for the game and his enthusiastic descriptions once the “magic” has taken place. get off your high horse and give this man the respect he deserves, he wouldn’t still be on golTV if he was affecting their ratings. You are what we in America like to call, a “loser”.

  22. GolTV is better muted

    You’re right to complain about GOLTV, but you’re aiming it at the wrong person. Ray Hudson may never have been a world class footballer and his style may not appeal to you, but GOLTV could (and does) call up a lot worse to call games. I am referring, obviously, to the American commentators who use the phrase “pass the rock” and compare footballers to Derrick Rose. I, personally, don’t mind Ray, but can see how others would. It’s the Americans that make me mute the TV or stream the game online. Their understanding of football is limited to the similarities they can find in other American sports and I think it is an absolute disgrace. At least Ray was born in England and indoctrinated into the sport, these other guys seem to be calling matches in between NFL games. You might think that Hudson has to go, but I would hope we could agree that the first step is the Americans.

    • calvininjax

      No argument from me there. I agree that American commentators haven’t got much of a clue when it comes to football. I think they and Hudson should be dispensed with at the same time. I hate to play favourites.

  23. cj

    Just seen the second half of the Barca-Madrid match with this imbecile spouting forth the most inane drivel I’ve ever had the misfortune to hear. He had me literally shouting at the tv for him to shut up and ruined my enjoyment of the match with his pointless ejaculations. Just had to google who he was in order to avoid in future and also to find if anyone else was offended by his verbal barrage of absolute shite…..Glad I’m not alone! Thank You Calvin!

    • calvininjax

      Yes, Hudson does tend to ruin the enjoyment of the game with his verbal diarrhea. But Americans apparently like utter bollocks. In fact, they have devoted an entire channel to it — Fox News.

    • Prashanth

      finally! this guy is Cancer… i really think if a cancerous cell could talk, it would sound like Ray Hudson…

  24. Danny

    Ray Hudson is a Messi sack-rider… so for that alone, f’em… but GolTV has worse commentators that call 1 out of 10 moves in any given play… soooo boring. This guy, at least, is comedic in his approach at broadcasting.

  25. F H

    You don’t understand the brilliance in the things he says; talking about Messi “he wouldn’t give the smell of his cologne when he’s got the goal in his sight” saying that when he’s got the goal in his sight he will just zoom by you before you can even take 2 steps, another one; also about Messi “is like a clown’s pocket, he just keeps bringing more and more out of it” how Messi always all the time every game keeps astonishing people with his skill……at least he’s passionate about the game, I’d rather listen to him any day all day than any of these idiots on ESPN or Fox (Alexi Lalas, Bob Lee, Kasey Keller, and pretty much everybody else in those studios, only good combos is Ian Darke/Macmanaman and Adrian Healey/Robbie Mustoe).

  26. Shayne

    I am from the Caribbean Jamaica to be exact. Go ahead and stereotype calvininjax or whatever your name is. It had to take a silly,bitter and mean spirited Brit to criticize Ray Hudson to such extremes. The guy makes the game fun for the viewers. He adds color,humor and excitement to the game. Unlike those disgusting and boring brits who do a one sided commentary. it seems that is the case in every sport the brits partake in. Recently Nasser Hussein in cricket has made some stereotypical remarks about India. Who are you people? you brits are so mean and harsh critics,all you do is CRITICIZE. In every sport the brits play play they are second best but they hate on other players so much. Honestly the brits suck and this guy calvininjax is just another classic example. I love Ray Hudson and i hate the mentality of you BRITS. Ray once mentioned the “English football system as being massively delusional with players who are arrogant pre-madonas,over hyped and overpaid”. That the english premier league is marketted as the best league but when the players the epl produce go on the international scene they are exposed as awkward mechanical failures”. LOL….I love that guys so much because he tells it like it is in his sweet lil way ha ha ha!!!He is a genius thats what he is because he got the guts to tell it to your faces. The menacing Brits have a way of silencing anyone who criticize their way. Ray is the best thing to have happened to modern day commentary. Now there is reason to smile when watching a game. Stop hating please, you Brits make me wanna vomit. By the way some idiot from your country threw a bottle at our very own living legend Usain Bolt. How sick,jealous and full of hatred can you brits get????

  27. wrxbob

    I recently (6 or 8 months ago) started watching goltv and discovered Ray Hudson. I know a little about football(soccer) having been born in Peru, although I have lived in the US twice(1964 to 68 and 1978 till today).My roots go back to England,Netherlands,Ireland and US. I like watching the Premier League, La Liga, Serie A,the Bundesliga and sometimes the Eriedivisie (when it’s available).I speak Spanish and English very well as well as some Portuguese, and some words of French,Japanese and whatever else I can pick up here and there. When I listen to Ray Hudson I wonder where this guy came from. He mistreats the English language in his high pitched voice which to me sounds very annoying. I thought ,maybe I’m the only person among 6 billion people who thinks this way. But I see now that I am not alone, and that is a comforting thought. I don’t want to deny anyone to make a living in an honest and decent way, but when you’re
    watching sports(which can get very emotional), you want to hear it from a person with a nice, well modulated voice so you can enjoy the game. And frankly that person is NOT Ray. I won’t say that Fiore is necesarily that person either. But I hear other commentators which make me glad that I’m listening and watching (and therefore enjoying) those games.I wish him well but I think maybe he should retire and let other people take over those duties.

  28. wrxbob

    Oh, and by way, I used to run the 100 meters in my country and for me Usain Bolt is the greatest sportsperson, incredible beyond belief.( his speed and ease when running are simply amazing). The guy that threw the bottle at him was an idiot and I hope the police gave him something to think about if he wants to try that again in the future.
    Sure, some players in the Premier League are sometimes primadonnas. But I think you can say that about players in other leagues as well as other sports too. And we have to remember that some players in ALL the leagues
    come from other parts of the world(including Jamaica-which I visited many a time), so you can’t generalize about the English players only.
    Peace to all.

  29. Craig

    never had to turn off a commentator on a match, but having done similar research, I see I´m not alone – terrible! Hyperbole at every turn, and oohing and ahhing like he was at a pantomime.

  30. por

    I have been looking for an oultet like this to really express my mind on this topic……for years i cannot stand to watch a game when this clown ray hudson (mumbly) & his gorilla partner Phil schoen are commentating , normally i will have it muted but with Bein sport in existance i wasvery disappointed to learn that they have joined the Bein team but to make my point, why just why people think that they are great commentators……they are absolulety terrible, the nonsensical comments, the shrieking (more suited for wrestling) they are just awful .

  31. Al Gazar

    Ray Hudson is amazing. A poet. Anyone that dissects poetry with a mashing of keys, to fill a pretty lame and boring blog, deserves all the misery he can imagine.

  32. Stef

    You are a dumbass, Ray is a great commentator & true ledgend! “Unimaginable brilliance” from Mr. Hudson at all times!

    • calvininjax

      You feel better for saying that?

      Dumbass am I? At least I can spell and, unlike Hudson, I do know the value of words.

      Now go and put your jim-jams on, it’s past your bedtime.

  33. Charlie

    This guy is awful, easily the worst commentator I have ever heard. It’s unfortunate when I find a commentator boring but at least I can still appreciate the football. I was watching the recent game between Madrid and Barcelona and it’s the first time I’ve ever actually felt like not watching a game due to the commentary.

    I’m not too picky when it comes to commentators, I could have let a couple of his comments slide but he just spews garbage the whole game. The Geordie accent alone irritates me. I will never watch a football game this guy commentates on ever again, even if it’s the world cup final.

    Funny thing is, I don’t mind the other American commentators all that much, sure they often don’t know much and tend to try and relate ‘soccer’ to other American sports but if that helps them to understand and appreciate the game more then I’m all for it.

    • calvininjax

      “I was watching the recent game between Madrid and Barcelona and it’s the first time I’ve ever actually felt like not watching a game due to the commentary.”

      Hudson’s “commentary” does tend to have that effect but I guess he is laughing all the way to the bank!

  34. Steve

    Wow, more than 2 years on from the original blog post and this thread is still hot. And I was worried that by the time I got to the bottom of this page the comments would have petered out within 6 months, but no. Ray Hudson obviously provokes a lot of people, and not in a good way. I also think he’s an idiot, which is the key search term that lead me here.

    Calvin, I’m also American, and a Gooner, but I agree with you; I’ll forgive you being a Potter this time. I’ve followed English football and Arsenal for about 40 years now. I know good commentary when I hear it, Martin Tyler being a key figure in my own experience. Last month I bought a sports package from my cable provider for this season, and tuned in to BeIN for the first time. When I heard this guy, I was horrified. He reminded me a bit of Tommy Smyth, only an order of magnitude worse, but I had never heard of him. Now, sorry to say, I know. I too feel like I have no choice but to mute the sound because I just cannot tolerate his tortured, simpering, histrionic harangues.

    BeIN has to dump this moron. Its audience knows and deserves better.

    • calvininjax

      We have a first — an Arsenal fan and a Stoke fan united! 🙂

      Yes, Tommy Smyth also leaves a lot to be desired as a commentator but he is bearable. Hudson just makes you reach for the mute button.

      I should imagine you are quite pleased at how the season is turning out so far, with the exception of the visit to Old Trafford. Still that win at Borussia Dortmund was something quite special. I wish you well in the Champions League.

      As for Stoke City, I am a little worried. We are playing the best football since we returned to the Premier League but we aren’t getting the results. We all know where playing pretty football and losing ends. The January transfer window will be crucial. I just hope we haven’t fallen too far behind the rest of the pack by that time.

    • Prashanth

      the search term that led me here was “Ray Hudson makes me wanna kill myself”… i couldnt make that up… there are a surprisingly few number of articles with that title by the way

  35. Ray Hudson is a complete gobshite! Full of meaningless exaltations. He offers no analysis of the game beyond shrieking inane gobbledegook. Anyone who says they find him entertaining is either a liar or a post-lobotomy patient who just wandered onto this blog while looking for videos of cats wearing funny hats. Hudson’s moronic schtick should be outlawed. He is a clown, a court jester. If he even offered a sliver of intelligent analysis on football he might be just about tolerable—but only just. It is true that being ‘entertaining’ and offering insightful comments on football are not independent of each other. The problem with Hudson is that he is as entertaining as a paper cut and as insightful as a… well I don’t know something that lacks any insight… sorry but I don’t have the talent for hackneyed metaphors that our pal Ray does. Ray Hudson—muppet!

    • mike caprarola

      Don’t try to argue with this so called journalist. He’s obviously an idiot who’s sister is his girlfriend and most likely doesn’t even know where a #10 plays which is why he decided to focus a football article in the commentary…the only part of the game.this knuckle dragger can follow. Ray is the greatest human being alive!!!!

    • calvininjax

      Yes, clown is the word that immediately springs to mind within three seconds of hearing Hudson’s “commentary”.

  36. darrenspc

    Amazing that my google search for “geordie tosser footie commentator” found this blog. Anyway, he’s still at it. I’m currently watching the El Clasico on BeIn Sports right now (currently 2-1 to Real btw) and he’s fucking ruining it He makes Ron Atkinson/Clive Tilsley seem like a dream team. What a twat.

  37. mazza

    Having missed the game last night, I tried to watch the highlights on footytube, only for it to be ruined by the most awful commentary I have ever heard. After stopping the video early I immediately searched the internet and found that ‘Ray Hudson’ was in fact the reason for this!
    I am a die hard Newcastle fan and I am embarrassed that he ever ‘played’ for my club.
    His comments make no sense what so ever and his basic vocabulary is shocking! If it was up to me, this bloke wouldn’t even get a gig shouting out numbers in a bingo hall.

    • calvininjax

      I feel your pain. I would be equally embarrassed if he had played for my club — Stoke City. We had Alan Hudson instead. 🙂

  38. Mike

    Good article; sums up how idiotic this guy’s commentary is. I watched the El Classico on Bien this past Sunday and Ray Hudson ruined the game. He also loves to use the word “magic” anytime a forward touches a ball in the opposition box. Really terrible voice (sounds like he’s screaming into the microphone from twenty feet away.) And he talks way too much.

  39. Milan

    Well written. This man is desperately looking for attention, good or bad. I think a kindergartener could put together a more composed and pleasurable commentary of the classico. Simply the worst, and the main reason why I will never pay for BeIn. For those who think that he’s funny, I just don’t get it, it’s not polite to laugh at a man who may have a thyroid deficiency.

    Cheers,
    Milan

  40. Pingback: Ray Hudson, Phil Schoen: The Case for the Mute Button | 1LessBlog

  41. matlanta

    Meh… he’s an idiot but… a loveable idiot. He can be both annoying & amusing. I guess I don’t take football commentary that seriously. One positive thing about the guy is he seems to bring more interest to the game in the US, which is good (here’s where you call Americans stupid for liking him). The more people that are interested in the sport, the better in my opinion.

  42. Realness

    Ray is the best thing to happen to football commentary…..End of.

  43. Oh my, I cannot stand listening to Ray Hudson. He is ‘annoyance taken to the extreme’. He is the main reason I avoid Goal TV unless there is an absolute must-watch game. Your article is perfect!

  44. mike caprarola

    If you think Ray ruined the game then you’re a fucking idiot. Can you stop wasting my time wkth such childish oponionated moronic “journalism”. the world will bea better place with you getting in the way. Bye poser

  45. geraldinho

    Ray is amazing. He can ruin a great game. Total knob.

  46. j

    You bone smoking fag

  47. stewart atkin

    It is Oct 25, 2014. I am watching Bein Sports’ coverage of Real Madrid v Barca, and I found it necesary to google “who is the annoying Geordie on Bein sports?” Your brilliant and accurate article came up.

    I am now wetting myself every time he speaks. Messi just missed a good chance, and Hudson said that Messi’s leg turned into a jellyfish. Priceless, absolutely priceless.

  48. run5life

    Ray Husdon is an undiluted gobshite. He is annoying and has little or no grasp of the english language which is laughable. He tries to put together something worthy of a play but falls short and portrays the iq of a 5 year old. God he is fc*king annoying. He spoils every game.

  49. Real Madrid fan

    Ray is the most talented and most authentic working soccer commentator. Magic from Ray! I am very much amused that he gets under the skin of so many idiots.

  50. Commentgirl51

    hey Girls and Boys,settle down. To quote Howard Cosell,” what’s right isn’t always popular,and what’s popular isn’t always right.” It’s all entertainment. Some like Bach. Some like ACDC. Hhhaaaa

  51. Im actually constantly shocked how many people seem to honestly support ray hudson. i couldn’t agree more with this article and i am amazed when people don’t see it the way that this writer has captured perfectly. he is a babbling “verbal gymnast” (ray hudson calls himself that). i can’t stand to listen to his commentating, it makes me cringe. i can’t watch BEIN sports because of him, i hope he retires soon.

  52. Mage Hudson

    Please don’t be too hard on my Raymond. He was dropped on his head as a young lad while I was riding my bike back from the pub with a case of milk stout balanced on the handlebars. He recovered from the brain damage to a degree but he is still struggling with his vocabulary. By the way, Bein sports did interview a baboon for the job but he kept eating the microphone so they had to go for their second choice.

  53. Veira

    Tells us what you really think?

  54. Chacha

    Hudson is a complete fool with his constant phlegmed up delivery-he’s actually getting worse and needs to go. Move him to wrestling or monster trucks broadcasts-he would be perfect. And please get him some cough medicine -ahhhhhhh man!!

  55. I’m American and I fully agree with all Hudson’s detractors. I just recently started watching BEIN Sports when it was added to my lineup. When I first heard him, I couldn’t believe that this was a pro announcer on a major football channel. He sounds like a caricature of a drunken Scottish/Irish loser uncontrollably flailing words about without much regard for their meaning, context, or good taste. He goes from zero to screaming in two seconds at the least of provocations. He is constantly showing such obsequiousness to Barcelona that one seriously wonders whether he’s on their payroll too. Unfortunately, based on this forum’s comments, there is such a deplorable mediocrity of taste and education among the BEIN viewers that the guy is probably considered the ultimate in color-commentating.

  56. I hate him RAY YOU SUCK!

  57. Juan Carlos Cao Yao

    You don’t know anything that you are talking about. You are the tale told by an idiot… Poor and limited English language? He is obviously far superior than all of us in his magisterial mastery of English and just pours it out in torrents as he delivers, with his inexhaustible vocabulary and literary devices he uses. It doesn’t have to be logical, analytical, because that is too commonplace, too traditional. Half of football may be pure mathematics, but half of it is no less than miracle. It is the absurd, the contradictory and illogical of his that lends the game that much more insight to see what you were looking but did not actually see.

    • calvininjax

      You obviously drink from the same cup as Ray — “half of football may be pure mathematics”. Which theory or equation did you have in mind? Are you sure you didn’t mean quantum physics?

      I wouldn’t disagree that his mastery of English is superior to yours — “but half of it is no less than miracle”.

      Have a nice day. If it’s sunny, I suggest a trip to the park. You could sit out and read a book. Fowlers Modern English Usage would be a good choice.

  58. The Boy

    5 years on and this blog is still relevant. I don’t even watch the Spanish league because I know Hudson will be involved. It’s a serious problem for your league when people are avoiding it because of the commentary. He has even resorted to interrupting and interjecting the main commentary of Phil Schoen. Just an absolute calamity.
    For those of you heralding Ray Hudson as the metaphorical messiah, a good implementation of the device was displayed by Alan Perry. About 5 seasons ago, Miguel Arterta had just returned from a long term injury and scored his second of the game. The build-up of said goal was indeed majestic and during the replay Alan Perry goes “beautifully crafted…(quick flash of the camera to Arterta’s wife in the stands)…and I’m not just talking about her”.
    Now that’s commentary. Not that pause-laden-attempting to be clever batshit from Hudson. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=k4aqTna-sio

    • calvininjax

      The difference is Alan Parry is a professional broadcaster, Hudson is an imbecile. But in terms of this blog, he is an imbecile that just keeps on giving. 🙂

  59. A B

    Agreed! The bloke is a complete cockwomble! An irritating wannabee ‘sid waddell’ TWAT!!!!!!

  60. JG

    He’s absolutely insufferable. I’m unable to watch games he commentates on, which is the highest insult it’s possible to give to a commentator.

  61. Fred

    Take 2 or 3 minutes to watch the following comments he made about England’s failure at the 2010 world cup.

    Brilliant Ray Hudson explanations on England’s pathetic 2010 squad. You guys should listen to what he says instead of criticizing his passion for the game.

    Makes me laugh even more after england’s pathetic performance at euro 2016.

    Btw, i can’t watch a full football match without falling asleep unless Ray comments it.

    Some love to Ray from Canada.

    • calvininjax

      No argument from me about Ray in that clip because he speaking plain English. It’s a pity his match comments don’t reach the same standard.

      • Fred

        I appreciate your acknowledgment and I guess there’s bias on my side here since I’m a big comedy fan and he just makes me laugh my ass out. He once said in a clasico match that barca was running away with: “real madrid defense stretched-out like spandex on miami beach and casillas is left naked”. From that moment on I researched every single comparison and metaphores that he applied to football and my lord I have to say that he does have creativity or you could call this madness it’s arguable:) (example: “running like he’s got a food mixer down his shorts… And it’s set to beat”). I’d love to hear what he had to say after messi’s goal against munich when he broke boateng ankles and placed a clinical chipped shot over neuer. It was probably in the likes of “magesssssterial leo, geeeeeeeniusssss” and many many more adjectives.

  62. Prashanth

    oh my GOD! im amazed at how this guy isnt getting stick from people?!?!! he is a cancer to football commentary and he still has a fucking job! i mean his commentary is just horrible horrible! makes me wanna kill myself… The guy gets an orgasm when anyone scores… multiple orgasms when messi scores btw… its not bad to express your energy when someone scores but when you have a shitty voice like him and when u say the kinda stuff that he does… you should just shut the fuck up! in the last el classico… he said… “Benzema, sliding smoothly, like toilet paper rolling down” i mean wtfff is that some kinda fetish for him?.. oh and “messi, the guy with peroxide in his hair”… and “Suarez, sharp as vinegar”… i just cannot watch la liga without muting!

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